Thursday, December 9, 2010

I'm determined to die today.

 This video has awoke a sleeping giant inside me.  It's not that it's new information for me.  I gave my life to Jesus years ago. 20 years ago in fact.  I've known that people should see Jesus in me.  That I should disappear and Him appear.  I can't say it's only been head knowledge up until now either. I've loved Him all these years.  I've loved Him because I was one of those poorest people before He saved me.  I've known the love of the Lord Jesus Christ.  I've tasted of His sweetness. Yet not once did I ever think that taking up His cross every day would be what cost me my life.  I was willing to give up my life for Him.  I just didn't know this would be what would take my life.  I feel dense and stupid right now.

If the Gospel brings death to the giver then I'm determined to die today.  Taking up His cross starts when I open my eyes each morning and look at my husband.  Mind you.  I've not died yet today.  I've already been frustrated, stretched, and angry and it's only 10:30 in the morning.  Why?  If I'm truthful with Jesus and you who are reading this then I know I've been trying to guard my own life this morning.  Isn't that the base reason peace doesn't come to each of us every day?  Aren't I protecting something I don't want, TRULY want, to give up?  This morning it's very true.  I've been protecting my schedule, my need to get my To Do list done, my CONTROL of my life. 

Is my schedule and To Do list bringing the Gospel to my family first? Is it Jesus' will or my will?  Do I really want to be the one in control today and every day?  I want Jesus to love me (I know He already does) because I'm all about His business like He was all about His Father's business.  He's given me a choice.  I can give up my life and I can take it up again.  There is NO OTHER WAY to serve Him because I've tasted His sweetness.  It won't be a curse. It will bring that PEACE that I seek after so diligently when I write my schedules and exact CONTROL over the day and my family.  Dying will bring LIFE. LIFE ABUNDANTLY.  Abundantly!  Did you hear that? ABUNDANTLY!  I don't know about you but I don't feel like life's been very abundant lately.

Anyone want to die with me today?  You can do right there in your own home.  Feeling stretched, frustrated, like your going to go crazy?  Give it all up for LIFE today.

In the name of the Prince of PEACE Jesus,

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